


too shy to say but i hope you stay

by eclipseok



Category: Produce 101 (TV), UNIQ (Band), UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Cuddling, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22030396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipseok/pseuds/eclipseok
Summary: Wooseok hated affection...At least, until it was from Seungyoun.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 125





	too shy to say but i hope you stay

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't actually published a fic in ages but... here i am! first contribution to the x1 tag. enjoy!!
> 
> title from come out and play by billie eilish

Wooseok has never been too fond of affection. 

Whenever the Up10tion boys initiated affection, he would indulge them in a hug or a shoulder to lean on. Anything besides that was out of his comfort zone. Whenever they would call him cute or make him do aegyo, he would feel himself get increasingly uncomfortable. He didn’t like to be babied. This made him come off as cold, but it was better than being uncomfortable. 

When he ended up in X1, things were a bit different. He couldn’t help but be overly fond of the younger members, pinching their cheeks and playing with their hair. He reckoned they needed all the love they could get being so young in the idol industry, especially when the group was surrounded by controversy. Whenever they wanted to cuddle, though, he let Seungwoo be the teddy bear. 

He was fine giving the affection, in some cases… just not as much receiving.

This, actually, is a big fat lie. But Wooseok would never confront that. Nope.

“Guys! We’re going to have a movie night! Let’s take our mind off things,” Seungwoo announced so loudly that Wooseok could hear it in his room. He jumped out of his bed before the young ones could come in and pile on top of him and went into the living room where Seungwoo and Yohan were already cuddled up on the couch. Wooseok rolled his eyes (in annoyance, _not_ envy) as he curled up on the loveseat, tucking his flannel-pant clad legs under him. 

Soon, all the members were sitting on the couch arguing over what movie they should watch. Hyeongjun, Dongpyo, and Minhee were insisting on Tangled, and after a lot of pestering Seungwoo gave in, resulting in cheers.

As the movie started, Seungyoun burst into the room, hopping over the back of the loveseat and nearly onto Wooseok’s lap. “Sorry I’m late!” Seungyoun was responded to with loud hushes from the other side of the room.

Wooseok stayed still as Seungyoun leaned into him. Wooseok knew Seungyoun was affectionate. He just didn’t have the heart to push him away.

Or maybe, he didn’t want to.

Wooseok felt himself shiver. The dorm was way too cold, and he cursed whoever turned the thermostat so low. His thin pajama pants and t-shirt weren’t enough to keep him warm, and he left his blanket in his room. 

“Are you cold? Do you want cuddles?” Seungyoun asked, opening his arms towards the other boy.

Wooseok must have contemplated it for a beat too long, because in seconds Seungyoun was pulling the small boy into his arms.

“I’m fine,” Wooseok insisted, squirming in his grasp, causing Seungyoun to hug him tighter. 

“Shh, watch the movie, baby.”

_Baby?_

Wooseok felt himself melt into the warmth of the taller boy, his chest feeling funny as he processed the affection and the pet name. He always fought against affection… why did he feel so euphoric when wrapped in Seungyoun’s arms?

As he focused on the film, he soon forgot he was even receiving affection. Until he felt fingers running through his hair.

 _Oh._ That felt good. Why did that feel so good? Wooseok involuntarily leaned into the touch, letting out a small sigh of contentment. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he had been treated like this. Well, considering the fact he always pushed people away, he supposed he never _let_ anyone treat him like this. It never seemed like it would be enjoyable. But when it was Seungyoun…

He tuned out his thoughts and tried to focus on the film, but his body soon gave in to sleepiness he didn’t even know he had.

When he woke up, he was in his own bed, alone. He didn’t remember how he got there, the last place he remembered being was on the couch…

In Seungyoun’s arms. 

_What the hell was that?_ Wooseok thought to himself. Why did he feel so comfortable in Seungyoun’s embrace?

He shook his head and lept out of bed, trying to get his mind off of it. Obviously, he was just tired last night. Battling against the constant drama and keeping the younger ones positive put a lot of his shoulders. Anyone would’ve given in to some affection. 

“Good morning, Wooseokie-hyung!” Hyeongjun greeted as the older walked into the kitchen. He was munching on a bowl of cereal with Dongpyo glued to his side, as always. 

“Good morning, Hyeongjunnie. Where is everyone?” 

The boy shrugged. “I’m not sure. I think most of the hyungs went out to get groceries. Seungyoun and Dohyon are still asleep, and Junho and Minhee are who knows where.”

“I heard my name?” a raspy morning voice called out. Wooseok recognized it as Seungyoun’s immediately, feeling his body tense. 

Seungyoun smiled brightly as he walked past Wooseok, obviously not overthinking things as much. “Sleep well? I carried you from the couch and you didn’t wake up, so I figured you needed the rest.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that…” Wooseok felt his face burn red

“It’s okay, Seokie. I didn’t mind! You’re cute when you’re all cuddly.”

Wooseok ignored the way his face burned as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.

To be honest, Wooseok couldn’t stop thinking about how he felt in Seungyoun’s arms. 

He felt so drained ever since that day. He never realized how touch starved he really was until he experienced the comfort of Seungyoun’s touch. 

He felt his eyes well up with tears as he wrapped his blankets tightly around himself, trying to mirror the warmth of another human, but failing. He felt so frustrated. There was no way he would ask Seungyoun to hold him. That’d be weird, and Wooseok doesn’t want to come off the wrong way. 

The tears had just started to spill over when the door to his room burst open. He gasped, wiping his cheeks quickly and looking up to see the intruder. 

“Hey Wooseokie, which one of these shirts should I order because- holy shit are you okay?” Seungyoun rushed to his side, dropping his phone on the floor in the process. 

“Can you… shut the door?” Seungyoun nodded, following the direction quickly before returning to the side of the bed. 

“Were you crying? I’m sorry for intruding! Do you want to talk? Or I can leave, whatever you need,” Seungyoun rambled, making Wooseok’s chest ache. He was too caring. 

“I… it’s embarrassing.”

Seungyoun put his hand over Wooseok’s smaller one and gave him a small smile. “I won’t judge.” 

He took a shaky breath as he felt Seungyoun’s thumb stroking the top of his hand oh so gently. Maybe it would feel better if he just got it off his chest. “Um, you know the other night? When we watched the movie?”

Seungyoun nodded, encouraging Wooseok to continue. 

“And you know how you… cuddled me? And played with my hair?” Wooseok felt like a child, refusing to look Seungyoun in the eyes. “I guess… I need more comfort like that. Is that weird? I’m sorry if it’s-“

“Hey, angel, that’s not weird! Humans need affection to survive, it’s science. Besides, I like cuddling, too. Do you want to right now?”

Wooseok tightened his lips before nodding, his body trembling as the bed dipped near him. 

“C’mere.” Seungyoun laid next to him and opened his arms expectantly. The smaller boy moved hesitantly, his body feeling overwhelmed as two strong arms wrapped around him. “Is this good?”

Wooseok hummed, the anxious feeling he had moments ago flowing out of his body as he sunk into Seungyoun’s arms. This was what he needed. To feel cared for, even by just a friend. 

A comfortable silence filled the room for a few minutes before Seungyoun spoke up again. “If you ever need anything like this, don’t hesitate to let me know, okay? I noticed you always push away affection, and I didn’t want you to get mad at me for trying, but if you need it, I’m here. Okay?”

Wooseok nodded, curling further into Seungyoun’s warmth. “Thank you.”

Wooseok felt something brushing over his head gently, and he smiled contently. Seungyoun began to fully run through his brown hair, making him lean his head further. 

“You really like having your hair played with, huh? You’re like a little kitten,” Seungyoun chuckled, and if Wooseok could see his face, he would almost say it sounded fond. 

Wooseok felt himself dozing off. The emotions he felt before Seungyoun’s arrival tired him out, and the warmth he felt was too comfortable to not give into. 

“You can leave, if you want. I’m okay,” Wooseok mumbled, almost hoping Seungyoun wouldn’t hear it.

“Shh, go to sleep, babe.”

_Babe. Babe. Babe._

He fell asleep with Seungyoun’s voice repeating in his head. 

When he woke up again, Seungyoun was gone, and the blankets were tucked tightly around his body. He felt colder after realizing the boy had left, but rolled his eyes at himself for his own behavior. 

He walked sleepily out of his room after getting dressed and washing his face, greeted by the sight of Yohan cuddled up next to Seungyoun, who was scrolling mindlessly through his phone. 

Wooseok hated himself for the feeling that arose inside of him.

Jealousy.

He turned on his heels and closed his bedroom door, leaning against it. Why did the sight of Seungyoun being close to Yohan bother him all of a sudden? After all, they’re all just _friends._

He reasoned it was because Seungyoun had made him feel cared for and comfortable. Couldn’t anyone do that?

“Hey, Wooseok,” Seungwoo said as the boy sat on the couch next to him, wringing his hands. “Do you need something?”

“Um, actually, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, what is it?” 

Wooseok felt his throat tighten. This was so embarrassing, but he knew he had to do it. 

“Can you like… cuddle me?” Wooseok asked quickly, hiding his face. 

Seungwoo just grinned and grabbed the boy, holding him tight. “You never ask for affection! Aw, my little Wooseokie,” he cooed, making the boy scoff. 

Wooseok sat in silence for a few minutes before he realized that no, this wasn’t the same as when he was held by Seungyoun. He didn’t feel the same fluttering in his chest and dizziness in his head. He just felt a little warmer, a little bit of comfort. 

_Oh no._

“Aw, look at Wooseok-hyung and Seungwoo-hyung!” Dongpyo squealed, appearing out of nowhere. 

Wooseok shoved the older boy away and glared at Dongpyo before realizing Seungyoun was there too, his expression unreadable until he noticed Wooseok’s stare. He flashed him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Odd…

Wooseok was half-asleep that night when he heard the door to his room creak open and two feet pad against the wood floor. The side of his bed dipped down, and he opened his eyes to see Seungyoun laying down beside him. 

“Seungyoun, what-“

“Please, just, hush,” Seunyoun whispered, wrapping his arms around Wooseok’s waist. There were the butterflies again, erupting in his chest and making him feel breathless. 

“No… what’s going on? Are you okay?”

The room was silent for a while before Seungyoun spoke up. 

“Why were you with Seungwoo this morning?” Seungyoun asked quietly. 

“Why were you with Yohan the other day?”

“I asked you first.”

Wooseok grimaced, squirming uncomfortably in Seungyoun’s hold. The room suddenly felt way too warm. “I don’t want to tell you. It’s too embarrassing.”

“I already told you, I don’t judge.”

Wooseok flipped over to face Seungyoun, immediately regretting it as their faces were way too close together and he could feel the boy’s breath hitting his cheeks.

“Fuck it. I wanted to see if it felt the same. As you. I needed to know if the things I felt were because of you.”

It was quiet for a few moments before Wooseok continued, not meeting Seungyoun’s searing gaze. 

“When you held me, I felt something I’d never felt before. I felt… loved. Truly. I never realized how touch starved I was until you touched me... I felt butterflies in my stomach and my head got all cloudy and I needed to know if it was because of the affection or because of you.”

“And?”

Wooseok swallowed nervously, looking the other boy in the eyes. 

“It was because of you.”

Seungyoun looked like he could cry. “I… it was the same thing, with Yohan and me… it’s you, Wooseokie. You make me feel so happy. It’s always you.”

Wooseok didn’t hesitate to crash their lips together, trembling as one of Seungyoun’s hands met his waist and the other fell on his cheek, gently rubbing his thumb across it. He felt so overwhelmed, with Seungyoun’s lips against his, his hands touching him, and their legs intertwining. He felt so many things all at once, and it felt so _good_. 

“‘Younie,” Wooseok gasped as Seungyoun left a trail of kisses down his neck. “H-hold on.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, princess! Was it too much?” Seungyoun asked hurriedly, cupping the other boys cheeks. The pet name made his face burn like never before. 

His heart could have exploded because of how caring Seungyoun was. “It’s okay, but can you just… hold me? For tonight?”

“Of course, baby,” Seungyoun replied softly as he wrapped his arms around him once again, but this time Wooseok could bury his head into the other boy’s chest, sighing happily. Seungyoun left a kiss on the top of Wooseok’s head and ran his fingers up and down his side. “Go to sleep, we can talk in the morning.”

Wooseok hummed, curling further into Seungyoun’s warmth. “Goodnight, ‘Younie. I like you so much.”

“I like you more, Seokie.”


End file.
